We have all experienced moments when we are so wrapped up in our thoughts and emotions that it feels like we might never escape. The emotional charge can feel overwhelming and cumbersome, weighing us down and stealing our joy. Our troubles and challenges – whether stress, depression, anxiety, trauma or any other emotional weight – appear to be endless and exhausting. The truth is, though, that you do not have to live like that.
I hold the belief that we cannot run away from our emotions, as much as we wish we could. They only end up hitting us harder the next time that particular emotion is triggered. We can, however, learn to process our emotions effectively and efficiently so that we are not triggered as severely as we used to be. As we release the emotional charge, our perspectives and feelings toward that particular challenge shifts too. This is when our old patterns and habits can change and we can choose healthier behaviours and responses to the life situations we encounter. We do not have to live at the mercy of our next emotional trigger.
This philosophy is based on the principle that the mind, body and emotions are all connected. We cannot disconnect them entirely, but we can distort into any one of them, throwing off our balance and harmony. If you look around, you might notice that most people have distorted into their heads, neglecting the needs of their body, while their emotions run amok without any form of adult supervision. Or, take, for example, a pro athlete. The athlete would primarily be focused on their body and mind, ensuring they are in peak condition, while, possibly, neglecting their emotional well-being to some extent.
In 2016, I became aware that I was living in my head and allowing my stories to run my life and my behaviour patterns. I felt miserable. Being tossed between varied emotional triggers at various times throughout my day. I felt like I was on a mental and emotional rollercoaster the majority of the time. My mind was most efficient at taking a challenging situation and building it up into a much bigger issue. Once I had allowed my mind to hook itself onto a negative thought, I was done for. Mentally and emotionally, I would spiral down into such a negative state that it took everything in me to pull myself out of it. I was unfulfilled at work. My relationships with family were suffering, and I couldn’t find a way out of the pattern. My body was struggling with one illness after another. All the while, I was desperately trying to convince myself that I was happy.
At that time, I had just completed my Masters degree in Research Psychology and couldn’t find a job in the field. I had to go back to working for the company I had left 10 years prior, to fulfil my dream of “becoming a Psychologist.” That had been my focus for 10 years. I was 35 years old and feeling more lost and confused than ever before. Shortly before that, my parents had separated and were in the process of getting a divorce. It hit me hard. Even as an adult, my parents’ decision to divorce after 40 years of marriage had me experiencing some most unexpected and unwanted emotions. Generally, I was in a state of “woe is me.” I felt like the victim. I believed I was the victim. And I couldn’t see beyond that narrow perspective. I felt trapped and alone. That was, until I came across Hypnotherapy.
The way I see it, Hypnotherapy changed my life. It changed the concepts, ideas and beliefs I held about myself and who I thought I had to be. And I couldn’t be more grateful. It became clear to me that I had choices. I wasn’t the victim as I had long believed. Everything I was experiencing was giving me opportunities to better myself and move towards the life I truly wanted. The realisation that I was living in my head and allowing my thoughts to rule my life came as a shock. After the shock subsided, what followed was relief. I was relieved because, for the first time, I had a way out. I could escape my mind’s tirade whenever I wanted. Once I learned different techniques to process and release my emotions, I started to let go of the past hurts and traumas that had got me into the situations I kept finding myself in.
I kept attracting negative situations and toxic people into my life because that was how I had allowed my traumatic experiences to groom me. With much sadness, I realised I had unconsciously permitted all of my previous traumas to determine how I engaged with the people and the world around me. I wanted everything positive, but I had become uncomfortably comfortable with the negative. I had made the negative my comfort zone, without any recollection of when or how I had done that. It became clear to me just how much I was getting in my own way.
It was with my Hypnotherapist, Shaldon Fitzgerald, that I started to discover who I truly am, the authentic me hidden behind all my negative thinking and limiting beliefs, behind the roller coaster of emotions and reactive, self-destructive behaviours.
I realised that my desire and intention to help people ran far deeper than my initial goal of becoming a Psychologist. With great joy, I discovered that there are many ways in which to help people improve themselves and their lives. I came to see that while Psychology has many benefits and helps many people, it does not work for everyone. It did not work for me. I needed to escape from my head in order to really heal from my traumas and to grow within myself.
While Psychology kept me in my head and talking about my challenges, Hypnotherapy gave me the freedom to explore all the unconscious, self-imposed limitations stored within my subconscious mind and within my body. Once those limitations where brought into awareness, I could process and release the emotions that had become trapped in my body and which had formed the habits and behavioural patterns around those limiting subconscious beliefs. I had the opportunity to reframe my destructive subconscious beliefs. It opened up a whole new world to me. And it started to change the way I saw the world I was living in. It became the key that unlocked my discovery of my true self and my life purpose.
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
Antoine de Saint Exupéry, The Little Prince.
Along with the Hypnotherapy process, another hobby that kept me feeling sane was dancing. I had danced on and off since I was a child. At the time when I started seeing a Hypnotherapist, I was close to completing my Dance Teachers qualification in Modern Dance. I had never aspired to become a dance teacher, however, I was very aware of the many mental, emotional and physical benefits movement had offered me over the years.
Inspired by my sessions with Shaldon, I have since qualified as a Counselling Hypnotherapist and created my own methodology of dance therapy to help others to process and release the emotions that are keeping them stuck within themselves and within their destructive patterns and habits. I also offer sessions using a combination of techniques, such as Hypnotherapy, movement and play elements, to children, teenagers and their families, as well as to adults of all ages. My intention and purpose is to help people of all ages to move towards their true self, to help them express themselves more authentically and to live their best life. I have received such phenomenal guidance and support throughout my journey, and, for that, I am truly grateful and inspired to pay it forward.
If you would like to know more about my journey of self-discovery or about my therapeutic offerings, please do not hesitate to contact me. I would love to hear from you.